If relationships were easy, divorce and separation wouldn’t exist. We would all stay endlessly happy and in love. The reality is, though, that a lot of us spend our time feeling unloved and frustrated with our partners.
The proven techniques I use in relationship counselling in my practice – the Gottman method and Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples – are outstanding. They are effective and highly regarded internationally.
Whether your relationship is on the verge of ending, or you simply wish to reverse some negative patterns before they get out of hand, I can help you to get back on track and remember the reasons why you chose to be together.
As a specialist working with couples in conflict, I understand your concerns and the pain you feel. I will listen to you both, for as long as it takes, and work with you gently, sensitively and pro-actively, to make things much, much better.
Couples commonly hide their relationship problems and are afraid to admit that anything is wrong. Because most couples put on this façade, those who are in trouble often mistakenly believe e veryone else to have a ‘perfect relationship’.)
Other people talk about their relationship problems over and over and over again with friends or family. Unfortunately, instead of helping, this often entrenches negative beliefs and further alienates them from their partner.
All relationships have ups and downs. But when the bad times become constant and unbearable, putting on a façade or becoming increasingly resentful aren’t the best ways of coping. When your relationship is not thriving, your emotional and physical health and wellbeing are affected.
There is no need to tough it out or endure a mediocre relationship.
Is your time together spoilt by fights or because you feel hurt, jealous or resentful towards your partner? Has the stress of a new job or the arrival of children created tension in your relationship? Do you feel isolated in your feelings and thoughts? Misunderstood? Unnoticed? Unheard? Do you feel as though your partner has no idea how you feel or where you are coming from? Are you bored with each other or is your sex life unsatisfying? Or have you been betrayed?
Maybe you’re about to get married and want to pro-actively work through some basic ideas on values and the future to make sure you stay ahead of problems?
Every couple faces a unique set of problems. This means that although we see common themes in failing relationships, there are millions of variations on these themes. On my “what has gone wrong” page, I talk about this in more detail. I hope that if you relate to some of what I’ve written, you’ll feel less alone, less desperate and more hopeful. As John Gottman irrefutably proved, “All couples have struggles and perennial problems – it is how they deal with them that differs.”
Relationship problems come in millions of different shapes and sizes, and likewise as you can imagine, there are countless counselling modalities and techniques.
Of all the techniques I’ve seen specifically designed to make things better for couples, the most impressive in terms of results are John and Julie Gottman’s methods – refined at their Gottman Institute in Seattle, and Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples out of Ottawa, Canada. These two approaches form the backbone of my programs, and you can read more about them on my “how can I help you” page.
I will meet you together in joint sessions as well individually for assessment sessions. I may ask you to fill out questionnaires. Click here to read about how I work in more detail.
When it comes to your relationship and its future, you have every right to question the validity of going into counselling. Poorly implemented relationship counselling can do more harm than good.
Poorly implemented relationship counselling can do more harm than good.
Can relationship counselling work for you? What are the benefits? How does it work?
I encourage you to read all of my pages on relationship counselling first. But if you can’t find the information you need, please check out my relationship counselling FAQ page or email me.
